It's 12:51 am here in Maui and I can't fall asleep. Granted, I've been staring at the computer for a good 6 hours and haven't even tried to make the journey back to my bed, but still, I don't feel very tired. The T.V. is on, the doors are all open, my cousin has passed out on the couch next to me while baby and mom are fast asleep in the room across the hall. And I have a container filled with reminents of what was once cold lasagna sitting in front of me.
I'm worried. Worried about finding a job and worried about affording to live here on my own. At times it seems like such a big jump: quit a job in DC, move to Maui on a wim. I've always wanted life to be a grande adventure. And still, being here in Maui, I am thinking of moving to Colorado, or New Zealand, or taking a job in Afghanistan. Am I a true adventurist or just chronically dissatisfied with what I have?
I can't say I made this move to find meaning in life. Maybe to find sunshine, but not meaning. Maybe to feel the island breeze and softness of the crashing waves, but not to find meaning. I must have known that the loneliness I felt in Virginia would follow me here. There are barely any jobs, and I feel a spell of desperation coming on. It's only just now Day 3.
Keep me in your prayers and you in mine,
Lyds
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